When I feel I’ve been driven into the ground and everything has been taken away, when I see others around me have everything I’ve ever wanted, I am painfully confronted with the truth of my deepest desires. Jesus is only enough until He’s all I have.
I wallow and wonder why God would even require such painful sacrifice. It’s funny that I’m always surprised at these times since Jesus said that following Him would require me to take up my cross. What do I do when I simply feel I can’t go on? What do I do when it simply feels too hard? How do I let go of something that I feel has become a part of me?
Hebrews says that our High Priest sympathizes with our weaknesses. That’s a truth I can hold on to. All I can do is grab on to the little bit of the Gospel I can still see, and wait for God. I hold on to the mercy and grace of God until it grows. It grows until it is no longer clouded over by life. It grows until by it I can see everything, and it grows until it is all I care to see. It grows until it is my entire life once again. Then I remember that I was never holding on to the grace and mercy of God, but God was holding on to me in His grace and mercy. God’s grace doesn’t only save me from the consequences of sin and selfishness, but God’s grace saves me from sin and selfishness themselves.
God always gently reminds me of why I sold all I had to buy the field. I easily forget about the incredible and unending treasure I found there in the first place.
Jesus, the Lord, My Savior by William Gadsby
Jesus, the Lord, my Savior is,
My Shepherd, and my God;
My light, my strength, my joy, my bliss;
And I His grace record.
Whate’er I need in Jesus dwells,
And there it dwells for me;
’Tis Christ my earthen vessel fills
With treasures rich and free.
Chorus: Mercy and truth and righteousness,
And peace, most richly meet
In Jesus Christ, the King of grace,
In Whom I stand complete.
As through the wilderness I roam,
His mercies I’ll proclaim;
And when I safely reach my home,
I’ll still adore His name.
“Worthy the Lamb,” shall be my song,
“For He for me was slain;”
And me with all the heavenly throng
Shall join, and say, “Amen.”